Why I Don’t Wear Shorts

Sometimes we teach best what we need to learn.

A good friend of mine told me this, years ago, as he could always tell what was going on in my personal life by the way I taught my Spinning® class.  (This was back in the infancy of Spinning® when it was a bit different than it is today.)  If I taught a very meditative, focused class, he knew it was because my own life was in turmoil.  By teaching with focus, and creating that internal quiet for my students, I could hope to quiet the chatter in my own mind.

I haven’t taught Spinning® in many years, but I see that concept overflowing here in the blog to what I write.  If I write an article about awareness, it is because I feel that awareness slipping away from me.  If I write about being kind to yourself, it may be because I have been especially hard on myself lately.

So I continue to teach best what I need to learn.

I believe very strongly that we have everything that we need to succeed, that we have to simply draw it out and choose to use it.  I believe that celiac disease is a blessing in disguise. But sometimes I am overwhelmed, and scared too, and doubt fills me.

As some of you know, I have had multiple surgeries on both knees.  My knees are pretty torn up with scars and scar tissue.  Most of the time I look at these scars and bumps with a sense of pride that I’ve managed to overcome a few obstacles in my path.

And yet– why don’t I wear shorts?

I very rarely wear shorts.  Even though I live in subtropical South Florida, I generally wear pants, capris, or skirts.  I have returned to fitness competitions, and even though I wear a bikini on stage, I am acutely aware of the scars.  I recognize the scar tissue, and the way it deforms the lines of my legs.  I look at this picture from last year, and the first thing I see is the scars.

And on a more abstract plane, the scars and scar tissue are a reminder of my own weakness, of fallibility, of being imperfect in many ways.

So why is it so hard?

I’m not sure.  I know that I am a perfectionist by nature, and that sometimes that makes it very difficult to accept imperfections in myself, even when there is nothing that can be done.

Most if the time I can recognize that which I cannot control, and I can let it go.  But sometimes I cannot.

And so I struggle.  And so we all struggle from time to time.

A friend of mine is an incredible athlete, a wonderful empathetic person, a wife, and an emergency room physician.  She also is very hard on herself from time to time, and I remember encouraging her to be as kind to herself as she is to others.

So why is it so hard?

For some reason it’s easier to see the good in others.  It’s easier to remind someone else to be kind to themselves, to give it a rest.  To step back and observe, enjoy, and celebrate the accomplishments.

It’s hard to do for yourself.

So once again I am teaching best what I need to learn.  I hope you all choose to be kind to yourselves today.  Feed yourselves well, spend time with people who make you happy.  Please leave a comment and share one thing you will do to nourish yourself well today.

And me?

Well, I’m going to wear shorts.  And I’m going to be okay with it.

My magnum opus (for now) is finished.  Check out 7 Tips for Living a Healthy Gluten Free Life (without making yourself nuts in the process.) I sometimes wore shorts while writing it, but mostly not.

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  1. Kim says:

    Wear those shorts, girl!!! You look amazing, please don’t ever feel differently.

    I am going to have ice cream tonight after dinner because I want to. I love ice cream with some dark chocolate chips and bing cherries. Perfect summer dessert. I am not going to let my struggle stop me from enjoying life.

    Kim

  2. Erin says:

    Kim,
    I hope your ice cream was fabulous! It sounds wonderful.
    I think you summed it up perfectly-the key is to enjoy life :)
    Thank you!

  3. Mireya Rayos says:

    wow! the first thing I see when I see that picture is “strength” all the way around physically and mentally!! wear those scars with pride, because your hardships did not deter you from your goal!
    Today Im gonna wear a fitted shirt and stop worrying about a lil bit of excess skin..:)

  4. Erin says:

    Mireya,
    Thank you so much. And good on you for being kind to yourself today! :)

  5. Very interesting and thoughtful post, Erin. Good for you! Wear those shorts! Funny, for many years, I thought women over 40 shouldn’t have long hair. I kept my hair fairly short. Now that I’m WAY over 40, I’m growing my hair out into a long ponytail. Who cares? I want long hair! Stomp, stomp!
    Love yourself and BE yourself!
    Melissa
    xo

  6. Erin says:

    Hey Melissa!
    Rock that long ponytail!
    I’ve recently met some women over 40 who have beautiful long hair. As I approach the 40′s, with my current long hair, I certainly don’t see myself cutting it anytime in the foreseeable future.
    Small tantrums all around! Long hair and shorts!

  7. Erin, you should be very proud of the accomplishments you made, and wear them shorts! (e-hug).

  8. Erin says:

    Aww thanks Jon! Every once in a while we all need to take a step back from constantly striving toward to next goal, and appreciate where we’ve come from. Something I am guilty of not doing enough.

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